This quote from Elder Bednar comes to mind every time I hear someone say to me or someone else, "Oh I hope that doesn't offend you." I was so impressed by his talk and I believe his words to be true!
"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not acondition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else." 2006
When I was in young womans my advisor told us girls about a friend of hers (Sis Jones) who knew a lady....true story, who kept a list of everyone who had ever offended her. Long story short, years later she called Sis.Jones to forgive her of what whatever silly thing was on the list and she didn't even know she had done anything wrong in the first place.
I think this happens more often then not (without the list). I honestly don't think the majority of people wake up and think "who can I offend today?" I think little things occur without intention and we will be better people to just let them slide and forget about them.
So lesson to be learned. People are not perfect, not everyone thinks the same as we might, or say the things we would hope they say and do and it is our choice to not become offended.
2 comments:
I loved that talk and remind myself of it often. Thanks for sharing. I know I'm often afraid that I offend others since things don't always come out the right way and I often get my feelings hurt. But I remind myself of this talk and let it go - no need to carry around unnecessary stress. :)
Oh, that is SUCH a great talk, isn't it?? Russ and I have been working on this concept in all of our relationships, We get to choose... NOT to be offended. It's really liberating, isn't it? :)
PS Thanks for reminding us of the talk, I think we'll read it for FHE...
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